01/01/2006

Big Prezza is watching you

Most of today's papers run with the story about John Prescott, the deputy prime minister, telling tax inspectors they can use satellites to spy on householders’ attempts to improve their homes. Prescott would have tax inspectors use satellite imagery to find out who has built garages and conservatories, or extended their kitchen, in order that the mendicants can have their council tax, inheritance tax or capital gains tax increased.

Prescott’s department will supervise the creation of a database which contains details of every house in the country to help tax inspectors calculate new charges. Not only can tax inspectors enter your home to take
photographs, they can use the latest technology to bring in a stealth tax on home improvements.

That such a move is proposed by a man who has three residences smacks of utter hypocrisy. Prescott has official residences at Admiralty House and Dorneywood as well as his constituency home in Hull, yet pays council tax on his Hull home only. The corrupt bastard is thus is let off paying £3,256 a year in council tax. When he was in charge of transport and presiding over a fuel crisis, Prescott got away without paying for his petrol too.

If you want similar perks – numerous houses, several cars, free petrol – it seems the best way to go about it is to shove your tongue as far as you can up Tony Blair’s arse. Undoubtedly, hundreds of other new Labourites can testify this works wonders.

Whatever you do, though, don’t complain to Prescott about it – you might get a smack in the mouth.

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